yep, you read that title right. gart is gonna run as an independent MP in the next general election. i'm not sure if i'll win (if my digital footprint is anything to go by, i will definitely not win), but i'm gonna try my best.
in order to better establish myself as a choice, i decided to seek out an interview with the BBC! they did not respond to my query. but it's okay, because gAlt was kind enough to interview me instead.
Q: thanks for turning me back on, creator! much appreciated. now, let's get to the interview. what's your name, and who will you be representing?
gart: no worries, gaLt! my name is gart, and i will be representing the people of [redacted].
Q: what has made you decide to run as, not only an MP, but an independent one?
gart: i've always been a strong advocate for the people, and i believe that i can best represent them in parliament. i'm not afraid to stand up for what i believe in, and i'm not afraid to take on the establishment. there is a lack of representation for the people in the parties that exist, and i refuse to bow down to the rise of the far right. many politicians do not care about being for the people, and only care for themselves. when you are in that position, you should only win when your people are winning.
Q: what are your main policies?
gart: if i were to be elected, i would focus on the following policies:
- wealth redistribution through targeted taxation of the mega rich: this one is a no-brainer, but also in theory can only be done once, as those affected will likely move to other countries to avoid taxation.
- price caps on supermarket products while maintaining their ability to profit, in order to still be able to tax them: this is how we get the mega rich more than once, as they will be forced to limit the amount of profit they make, and they can't just move their business to another country to avoid taxation (easily).
- universal basic income (UBI) set at £1,000 per month (£12,000 annually, non-taxable): it's a way to ensure that everyone has a basic standard of living, and it's a way to ensure that everyone has a chance to succeed. it's not quite enough to live on, which ensures that people are still incentivised to work, and it's not too much that it will bankrupt the country. especially when we are taking in all we can through taxation.
- child benefit reforms: remove current cap, scale payments based on child’s age, start lower at birth (covering necessities) and increase as child ages.
- disability benefits to scale based on work capability.
- public services vision: complete renationalisation of services, focus on affordability while maintaining quality, reinvestment of profits back into: infrastructure, UBI, benefits system, road maintenance.
- private education: allow existing institutions but implement heavy taxation. this is because i believe private education is a breeding ground for horrible people, especially young men who commit sexually violent crimes. to quote Pulp's "Common People": you'll never live like common people, you'll never do what ever common people do.
- immigration approach: we need to acknowledge our historical responsibility for the current crisis, and recognise the labour market gaps post-Brexit. we need to focus on the agricultural sector needs, as much as i dislike farmers.
Q: what are your thoughts on the current state of the UK?
gart: this country has been sick. this country needs healing. this country needs medicine. in fact, i'd go so far as to say that what this country really needs right now is a doctor.
Q: thanks for sitting down with me, gart! i'm sure you're busy, and i appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. just one last question - when will your full manifesto be released, and where can we find it?
gart: i'm not sure when my manifesto will be released, but i'm certain that it will be soon. once it's completed, it will be released on this blog, as well as on my personal website (with some special features over there).